I was sitting in bed trying to choke back the tears. The constant, continual, chronic, never-ending, always-present physical pain in my body wears me down, and tears were welling up in my eyes as I thought that relief from unrelenting pain never comes ... never, ever ... NEVER, EVER, EVER comes.
Suddenly, I thought of hell, the place of everlasting torment for those who die without making Jesus the Lord and Savior of their lives. For them, physical pain and torture will never, ever ... NEVER, EVER, EVER end.
People are dying and going to hell every day. Oh, God, yesterday, I got into a huge fight with someone in great bondage to taking up offenses. How many people died and went to hell while I was too busy fighting because this person took up offenses at me for absolutley no reason other than this person is in bondage to offense. This person even apologized to me and told me that I did NOTHING wrong. To which I lashed out in emotional pain, "If I did nothing wrong, then stop treating me as if I did!"
I prayed and prayed for God to reveal where this person's bondage to offense is coming from.
Well, as I sat in bed from unrelenting pain, thinking about the people dying and going to hell for an eternity of unrelenting pain, God opened my eyes to where the bondage to offense ultimately stems from.
Satan, in his fury against God and God's Kingdom, is keeping this person in emotional chains, which unfortunately, sucks others into the pit, which ends up keeping us all distracted from our ultimate purpose: worshiping God, and pulling others out of hell's fire (see Jude 1:23)
My heart is so sick of being hurt. This person hurts me often. My heart is so wounded I could cry and never stop (but that would just give me a migraine, so I don't!) I am so sick of getting hurt!
Okay ... So, let me get this straight, THIS is the excuse I'm going to give when I stand before Almighty God to "explain" why I didn't pull others out of the fire?????
Hmmm, I better re-think this. And I better get on my face before God, in repentance and in humility ... and in love.
And, if I stay in a heart of love rather than a heart of woundedness and victim-mentality, then maybe, just maybe, I can be a more effective vessel that God can work through to pull others out of the fire. And maybe, just maybe, God might, one day, bring me before His Throne, and introduce me to the many people He pulled out of the fire as a result of my love and willingness to overlook my own "temporary" pain (both physical AND emotional) to save them from their "eternal" pain!
Oh, glorious day!